Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
