beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize