Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
