I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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