to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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