I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
