If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Randomize
