And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
She even gives head with a lisp.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
You need Xanax blowdarts
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
