The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
