stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
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