Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
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