the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
