and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
this is an emotional support booty call
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
