I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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