did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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