Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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