I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
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