She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
