everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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