he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
that's an acceptable place to lick
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
