Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
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