Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Randomize