Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
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