I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
did i walk over a car last night?
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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