one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize