roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Can you bring me the toilet please
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
