THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
