the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
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