I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
