"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize
