well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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