I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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