By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
