We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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