Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
i believe in u and ur pee
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
