i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
