i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
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