Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
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