best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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