Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
