you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
