Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
