don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
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