please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
