I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
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