Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Randomize
