omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Did you pee in the oven last night??
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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