C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
