I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
