I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
