dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Randomize
