I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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