How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I had to cum in my sink.
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