im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
