I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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