Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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