did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
