if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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