I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Randomize
