so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
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my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
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Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
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